Adventures in motherhood & other exciting topics

so as I sit around as a "stay at home" mom (at least until 4pm on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays when I leave to teach class) I muse about doing this forever. If I could figure out how to get stuff done and manage a 3 week old, I would seriously consider it. I'm sure it's just part of the "new mommy" learning curve, but good grief, it's hard!

I'm trying to do the whole "when baby sleeps, you sleep" thing and it's frustrating because I can't get anything done if I'm sleeping all of the time. When baby's awake, he's eating... can't do anything (of substance) then either.

I haven't figured out when exactly to take a shower. In peace, that is. So I jump in the shower and try to lather at least half of my body, soak my hair, throw some conditioner in it, and maybe shave my armpits if i remember to do it... while the baby screams bloody murder.

My mom has been coaching me, sort of, in no uncertain terms to stop sleeping with the baby or letting him sleep on me and to instead put him in his crib. I've attempted to put him in his crib at least 5 times between yesterday and today for naps (not at night because it's just easier to have him in bed with me) and his record time is either 30 minutes or an hour.

I worry that the days are gone when he used to sleep 3-4 hours at a time. Oh, as I type now he's laying next to me, after a failed "sleep in your crib" attempt, on his nursing pillow. I wonder if he won't sleep in the crib because he associates it with being abandoned by mommy in the shower? Hmm.

Breastfeeding is quite an adventure as well. I don't know if anyone else went through this but let me associate my experience to this cute onesie that I bought Becton, thinking it would only apply to him... it says "automatic sprinkler." Catch my drift? Yeah.

So.... trying to be the "on top of it" mother that I believe I need to be, I am usually halfway good at recognizing that the "let down" reflex happened about an hour ago and my bra pads are useless. When I reach that state of being, I go get the child and tell him it's time to eat (and then do laundry, AGAIN) and imagine my surprise when I went to feed him on the right side and he got sprayed mercilessly for no reason by my new semi-automatic feeding utensil!!

That went over really well.

Becton is shocked that he's been attacked by his food. I'm freaking out thinking that something's broken or otherwise inoperable. I have no idea whether to stick it in his mouth for fear that it will continue shooting and drown him or try and aim it into a bottle or cup for usage later.

We have since come to the realization that Becton's uncanny lower-jaw & latching abilities will quickly regulate the angry auto-spray breast milk enemy and he can eat in peace while I clean off his face and put yet another bra in the sink to soak and then hang dry. I've quickly learned that laundry every time your bra gets soaked, and you only have 5 bras to begin with, isn't the wisest idea.

So let's see... anti-crib sleeping, semi-automatic breastmilk expulsion, what else is there that made me go and buy the dagblasted "what to expect the first year" book? Oh yes.. changing feeding patterns and how they don't always mean that you're a horrible excuse for a mother and will lose your entire milk supply.

Last week was the second week I went back to classes (i teach 2 classes part time)... and I will have to finish this piece a bit later as the child has awakened to the knowledge that the Boppy-esque pillow is clearly NOT mommy's chest and the world is a cruel, horrible place to be... as he gouges his eyes out and grabs his entire left cheek with fingers in his mouth for emphasis.

To be continued...