back to work

So today was my first day back to work... i've gotten better as the day's gone on. I'm close to going home, so it's giving me enough energy to get excited again. And excitement = good time to write!

I work four 10-hour days from now until June 30th which is my last day at my job and then I start my full time faculty position at Utah State University. HR paperwork is complete and everything... kinda cool. So anyway, my 4-tens... i have Friday's off and I work 8a-6p every day. I will get home by 6:40ish every night and get to snuggle on my little boy!

Michael was home today and played daddy day care with Becton. He did a good job! He sent me pictures just about every hour and I melted and did baby talk to the pictures appropriately. I'll post them in here.

Yesterday was my first Mother's Day and I spent it at home with my baby and my hubby. Michael got me a bunch of GORGEOUS flowers - i have to get a picture of them on here so you can see. they are beautiful. He made me breakfast in bed, and I snuggled with Becton relishing my last free day home with him. Michael also got me a book and some candy and a very sweet card. My mom and sisters came over to visit as well for a few hours and we did mother's day gifts together. It was pretty cool.

I dreaded going to bed because I knew that every step forward put me closer to going to work and being away from my baby boy. So when I was still up close to midnight, I decided that I needed to go ahead and get some sleep. My 3am feeding I tried to make as long as possible...but becton only ate for about 15 minutes - I was not looking forward to going back to sleep and Becton apparently wasn't either because he made a big poopy diaper that woke me up as it leaked on my leg. Excellent. So I got up and changed his little sleepy stinky booty and then rocked him back to sleep.

I was up again at 523 because he was squirming around on my chest, and sweating like a champ. He is the sweatiest little baby known to man! I was drenched when I woke up at 615 and realized that this was my last feeding before leaving for work. At 6:41 Michael woke up to tell me it was 6:41 and that i needed to get up and get ready. I didn't want to. I just wanted to hold and snuggle my baby all morning. And that's when the tears started. Mine and Becton's. So he ate for about 12 minutes and then fell promptly asleep as I reluctantly handed him to his daddy and retreated to the shower to cry over my impending reality.

The entire morning routine that I had practiced a few times last week, was all shot to garbage. I couldn't figure out what outfit I wanted to wear. I put on sandals when it was raining outside. i had on a spring colored shirt, cotton textured with silky business pants.... no jacket. So i went downstairs to feed the cats and keep myself from going to crawl back into my bed and snuggle my baby. The cats are meowing for food and the fat one was locked out all night, so she's drenched from the rain, their food is soaked and expanded and there are earthworms in their water dish. So I clean all of their food out, fill it back up and realize that I don't like my outfit. Back upstairs to change again. Bye-Bye Kisses to hubby... and he reminds me to kiss baby. Which makes the tears come again. I made it out the door and to the car and then to work. And nothing looks like much fun anymore.... it's my "arrive to work as usual" routine but it feels so different because my heart and half of my mind, at least, are somewhere else.

Since I've given my notice to this job that I'm quitting, there really isn't much for me to do but wait until my last day gets here. So, Michael, being the great daddy-nanny that he is, sent me pictures just about once an hour of my little baby boy. Here are the things that got me through the day.

Handsome man and adorable baby. Talk about a lucky woman! Can't wait to get home to both of them... they make my life complete.