Tuesday... what did we do on Tuesday? Oh gosh, I think Tuesday was the day I worked on our taxes for like 6 hours and kept getting a different refund amount every single time! It was the most draining thing I've experienced in forever. Married filing joint vs Married filing separate... the bane of my existence. I got a chance to catch up with my "sister" who is out in New York. She and I joined the same sorority and we figure it was simply for the opportunity to meet each other and truly be like sisters. She's a photographer and wants to come out and document "a day in the life" of me and Michael. She finds us very intriguing since we're so different politically and ideologically and we're having a baby! So she wants to come out and do a photo documentary on us, hopefully before the baby gets here and then for a little bit afterwards too.
Wednesday started off like any other Wednesday until about 5pm. Michael had been complaining about his tummy feeling icky after we went and got Library cards and checked out a few books. I thought it'd just be the regular "my tummy feels icky, i think i'm bloated" deal that Michael has ever so often... and then I heard weird, unfamiliar sounds while I was in our office. I went downstairs to see what was happening and couldn't find Michael. So I went back upstairs and realized the sounds were coming from the bathroom. Oh gee. So I asked him if he was sick... he said he was. And then from 7pm until 3am there was no doubt that something was wrong with him.
For those that know me, you know that I've NEVER been able to deal with vomit. EVER. I, personally, have not been physically sick since i was 11? 12? And have planned ever since then never to be sick again. Hence why this pregnancy has been wonderful. No sickness. I hear about some folks during labor getting sick... i continue to have high hopes for my tummy in that category too.
Where did this fear come from besides when I was 11 and 12? The first weekend of my freshman year at Duke. It was a "wild party" weekend and while innocently waiting at the bus stop it turned into a scene from a movie. The world came to a stand still and we all turned to this one guy sitting on a bench at the bus stop and what erupted out of him still escapes the ability to be described in words. This kid has no idea who I am but for the 4 years of my undergrad, whenever I saw him, I glared at him without shame. I was traumatized for that weekend because all that replayed in my head - especially at dinner - was his bus stop event.
When I went to Duke for my 5 year reunion, he was there and I instinctively glared at him. He has no idea why. And you may think this is silly, but I truly have a phobia of vomit that is beyond description. It's what kept me out of the nightclub scene unless absolutely necessary because you never knew who'd come into the bathroom while you're in there doing your hair. And to this day, I still have anxiety in public bathrooms (ANY public bathroom) and i'm not a fan of going out at night past 11 or 12.
So when Michael was sick this week, I was basically paralyzed at points and unable to really pull it together to be the best support for him. But I tried. I just have to try harder, because what he went through sounded horrible and painful and draining and frustrating. And i dont' know if it's like this will all men, but for whatever reason, they sound as if it's a full contact body sport involving at least 3 other people crashing into each other in the same bathroom at the same time. Even when I plugged my ears I could still hear him.
I don't know how I'm going to do this mothering thing. I was able to check in on him afterwards each time, though. I am hoping that that counts for something. I brought him some food, water, gatorade. Sometimes it stayed down. Sometimes it didn't. I had my mom (a nurse) on the phone to help coach me through it and what to look out for. We still don't know what made him sick because we at the same food that day, so I doubt it was food poisoning. He had chills around 7pm and I realized we didn't have a thermometer in the house to check his temp. So I ran him a bath and turned the heat up. After he got out of the bath, he was clammy and warm to the touch, I just figured it was from the bath. So I continued to check on him until midnight. His last visit to the bathroom was around 1am and I checked on him every half hour until 3 and then every 1-2 hours after that. Wondering if I should cancel my baby appt that morning or not.
He was up and talking around 8, and attempting to run around the house doing stuff because he thought he was fine. And I just watched him and could see that he wasn't, but anyone who knows Michael.... knows Michael.
His main complaint? I'm bored. I don't want to just lie around.
And I said to him, honey - you are sick. You need to lay down. So after about 30 minutes of trying to be up and moving around and attempting to work on his bike... his body got the best of him and I found him in bed curled up and frustrated because he still felt icky. So I went to my midwife appointment.
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