I don't think i have words to express how amazed I am at the fact that I am truly carrying life! In my belly of all places! To see it turning around, kicking, moving, "swallowing" and just being a comfy lil' 13 oz baby was amazing to me!!!!
Words really can't describe it!
I know that the Lord works in "mysterious ways." I don't think we give the miracle of child carrying and child birth enough credit or positive spotlight. I don't think that if we truly knew and respected the process for what it is, that we would allow abortions over adoptions at any stage.
It really boggles my mind. I am so in love with this little being and it's not even here yet, but already - his little profile of his nose and mouth... my heart, my whole entire being just MELTS. I have known of more than one person in my life that has gotten an abortion and as much as I sympathized for the situations, I never understood how the decision could finally be made. I always thought, "well if it was me, I'd do XYZ to blah blah blah and make it work." And I would stop myself and say - but you don't really know that LaShawn. You're coming at it from a different perspective.
But now that i'm pregnant.... i know now that I knew then. I would do ANYTHING to make my life work for the sake of the child I am carrying. The responsibility that my body has taken on without my input, really, is simply amazing. Pregnancy must be the best way to truly be an "instrument in the hands of God." I can't even fathom the thought process of interfering with that for whatever reason, even if I knew the child wouldn't live more than 2 days... even if I knew the child would have a physical disability.... I was blessed to carry a child.... PERIOD. It's no longer my will, but the Lord's be done.
anyway, it's rare that I get preachy about too many things. I've just been really humbled by this entire pregnancy experience. And I'm not trying to say i'm a better person than anyone who's had an abortion due to their circumstances. I just think that most often, women give up something so important as a new life for something less important like personal convenience. Abortion is seen as "extreme contraception" where if you'd've used protection in the first place, you might not be in that situation - and if you DID end up pregnant even while using contraception... IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!! God wants that child to come to this earth... whether you like it or not. Whether it's convenient or not. If you aren't ready to have a kid with the person you're dating... don't have sex. Can't have your cake and eat it too.
there I go again. anyway, i'll just say that I'm blessed to be where I am and in the position to have and care for a little one and I am excited. He's adorable and I can't wait to hold him in my arms and give him kisses. He will be mommy's little man and my favorite snuggle monster ever. Words cannot describe it!
p.s.
I saw the cutest bib today that said "kisses $0.25" it will be mine. and i will be broke from paying the kisses fee :)
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